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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Claire R.Female/United States Groups :iconultimatespritersclub: UltimateSpritersClub
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Hey guys, I have been depressed lately. Bullying is still happening to me and it will probably stay that way. I kept having suicidal thoughts the last  couple of months. I have told my parents but my mom or my dad won't do anything about it. I thought yesterday because I was so sad I thought to myself "Why do I have to live in pain? I can't take it anymore" and other suicidal thoughts.

A couple weeks ago I was at my grandparents house visiting them and my cousins moved in with them temporarily to find a house because they are moving. My Aunt's friend's daughter came over with her friends one of them me and my Cousin Ethan didn't like. She was stuck up and came over on christmas for some reason and gave me mean looks and stuff. So we were eating dinner and she called me weird and other stuff that I don't want to say. I told Ethan she said that and He said he had enough of this with her thinking she owns everything. Ethan talked to her and told my grandparents who actually seemed to care about my depression and stuff.

That girl left and her mom texted my aunt"s friend that if Me and Etahn are going to be rude she won't come over again. But the thing is that girl caused the problem. My uncle said this is exactly the stuff that he went throught with his girlfriend.

My Dad looked at me and told me I should toughen up and its rediculious that I put into this problem. I walked away, That of course did not help It made it worse. I told my mom and by then I was crying my heart out and saying "dad doesn't understand what it is like to be bullied because he was the popular football player, I'm just stupid and always walked on like a piece of  shit, I'm a geek, I shouldn't live here if people treat me this way with all of this pain. He doesn't know what its like to have 2 major surgeries, be depressed, and live in pain my whole life. No wonder I have no sympathy if someone falls down and hurts themself, I don't go rushing over to ask them if they are okay. I just don't care about anybody or myself anymore. I have no soul". My mom started to talk to my dad and argue and stuff. My dad came in and triedd to sugar-coat everything up. It didn't help at all none of it had meaning to me. I'm numb now.

I thought to myself yesterday during my suicidal thoughts. "Why did they have to give me these surgeries to save me? I'm worthless in this world, no one would care if I died". Sorry about discusing this with you guys your the only ones I have support from. Hell, my parents don't care anymore. I'm going to try to make it through my life until colledge if it dosn't get better I would rather die than live in pain the rest of my life.

This isn't a suicide note, I guess I'll stay this way for the rest of my life drenched in pain and depression.
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Three Days Grace


Red-Dragon-Blaze's Profile Picture
Claire R.
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I live in North Carolina. I am a tomboy. I am 13 years old and in 7th grade.
I love being outdoors and love doing art of course. I have blueish- greenish eyes, and dark blonde hair. Which expect me to be off of DA for periods of time,sorry. Anytype is okay poetry and other stuff, I vary my art. Even though It looks like I draw dragons alot, I don't off of deviantart I can draw almost anything. Why I don't reay like drawing humans is I think they turn out bad, even though others think Its very good. I guess I just don't like drawing them. I have to say I'm a nerd and I intend in staying that way I love learning. I also intend to be single the rest of my life I just think love is yucky and stuff.

Spiders, Bullies, Trolls, Coleslaw, Sponges, Snobbish/Ignorant/Stuck-up people,

Sky-gazing, stars, storms, outdoors, dragons, wolves, big cats, food, kind people

Favorite Subjects: Math and Science
Favorite Music: Rock, Instrumental, almost anything that I have a taste for
Favorite Food: Fruits and Hamburgers
Favorite Computer Operating System: Windows, big yes on that

peeps I love talking to:

two minds that think alike :stare::
:iconred-dragon-blaze: :iconstarlesssparrow:

people i have met in real life:

people i admire:
:iconfourth-star::iconskipskid: :icondark-spine-dragon: :iconsiryuu:

great friends:

DA family:
:iconvenomari19:- lumpytastic jedi freind

team phoniex risers:

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Add a Comment:
CyndrotheStarFire Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
*waves at his long lost not seen for a while friend
Haggis53 Feb 15, 2014  Student Artist
Daaaang, thanks for all the faves~ ^^
Red-Dragon-Blaze Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
no prob
StarlessSparrow Jan 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Llama Emoji 26 (Sexy Shake) [V2] by Jerikuto shaky your booty
Red-Dragon-Blaze Jan 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm trying fffffff im horrible at it :XD:
Fire-Storm-Dragon Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, blaze. Long time we dont talk!!!
How are you?

Sorry for this kind of inactivity from me. I have downloaded blaze and poisonous wing refs to do a fifties for you ^^
Any tip i should know before starting picture of them?
Red-Dragon-Blaze Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
good Xd how are you?

yes Acid wing now has paw pads that are basically green that secreet venom Thanks so much for drawing them can't wait to see it
(1 Reply)
StarlessSparrow Jan 29, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
just try it girl : D we do it together how about that 
Red-Dragon-Blaze Jan 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
okay :dummy: oh btw how are you ?
Tomek1000 Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
= Fight for you
= Respect you
= Involve you
= Encourage you
= Deserve you
= Save you
Send this to all your friends & me if I'm one......If you get 4 back you are liked but if you get 7 back then you are seriously loved.

ps. sorry i didynt talk with you so much
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